A fun conversation with Mr. Webb.

me:  you'll be happy to know that i totally just rescued you from my mom and rick getting you a U of M flag for Christmas  

Sent at 11:09 AM on Monday

 

Adam:  ha ha... a flag

that would be hilarious

 

me:  i get that it would be useless to you... but why would it be hilarious?

 

Adam:  i don't know if i could've opened that withouut laughing

 

me:  how come?

 

Adam:  i guess i just think flags are funny

 

me:  you are funny  

but either way, you're not getting socks and/or sweatpants.

 

Adam:  why not

 

me:  sorry- you're *now getting socks  or sweatpants.  type-o.

 

Adam:  oh very good then

 

me:  i figured that would be okay.

 

Sent at 11:20 AM on Monday

 

Adam:  we should get a house flag and hang it upside down in times of distress

maybe thats what you're getting for xmas

 

me:  did you stop and smoke crack with homeless people on your way to work?

what on earth are you talking about?

 

Sent at 11:23 AM on Monday

 

Adam:  Sheldon had an apartment flag

apparently you missed that one

it was part of the roomate agreement

 

me:  and it's hung upside down in times of distress?

i missed that.

 

Sent at 11:26 AM on Monday

2011 04 04

The scene:  I am just walking downstairs after my shower.  I encounter something on the floor.

me:  What is that?

Adam:  What is what?

me:  That.

Adam:  What?

me:  Dog puke.

Adam:  What dog puke?

me:  Right there. 

(He is sitting 3 feet away from a giant pile of "I drank too much water before wrestle-time" dog puke.)

me:  I heard a dog puking from all the way upstairs.  How did you not notice that?

Adam:  I don't know.

WHAT PLANET IS HE FROM?!

Only in Webb World...

... do you need to "Quick, let's remodel the bedroom" before leaving on vacation.

This vacation, while exciting, is nickel-and-diming us to death.  And now Adam wants to buy an extra ski bag so that we can save $20 in luggage fees.  I really wanted to care, but while I was carefully outlining the walls in blue paint at 10:00 p.m. (never mind that we painted white over blue, and then blue over white, all after applying a skim-coat of drywall putty to the walls to even the surface and prepare it for nearly the same color blue it was before in order to improve the look of the house that we don't intend to live in for much longer), I mentioned again the outstanding $1300+ expense report that he has at work.  Yes, I may have mentioned it a few dozen times before in an all-out assault of text messages, email, and plain old nagging, but I stuck the dagger in and twisted it last night.  It does not take a rocket scientist to realize that your wife's not working, and vacation costs money, and you can get $1300 back by filling out an expense report... but he didn't do it anyway so I stewed in anger and sent him to fetch me a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade (yes, I am embarrassed to admit that I drink this from time to time).

I have a way of getting really worked up, so by the time he made it down the steps and out to the garage where the "beer" is located, I realized that my brow was entirely furrowed and I was gripping my paintbrush for dear life.  While downstairs, he changed the music to James Taylor's greatest hits and I heard him begin to sing "there's something in the way she moves, looks my way and ...." with my pink flavored malt beverage in hand.  He handed it to me with a smile and I had no choice but to smile.

Such is Webb World.